


A Cup of Tea

by dogsat4



Category: Naruto
Genre: Almost Crack, Avoiding The Hokage, Awkward, Civilian stuck in the middle, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Danzo got drunk once, Dealing with emotional stunted ninja, Everything started with Tea, It really isn't her fault, OFC - Freeform, Offical ninja's searching for successor, Old man and Tea, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Third Person, ROOT ninja being overprotective, Root - Freeform, Seamstress, So Much Awkwardness, Stubborn, Tea, Various OMC - Freeform, just..., my attempt at humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 03:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5114597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogsat4/pseuds/dogsat4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Danzo died via Sasuke (Or suicide depending how you look at it), unknown to anyone he left a successor to take over ROOT. Meet one Yuko Tsubame, a Civilian seamstress, tea lover and the Unknowing successor of Danzo's illegal organization. Completely unprepared for the coming storm of both the Hokage searching for said Successor and dealing with the Root members and helping them feel again... although completely scaring the crap of the the man who barged into her that made her drop her bags wasn't something she counted on. "Why would you do That!?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where it Begins

It all started with a cup of tea. It really did.

Yuko is a civilian, and having lived her whole life in the leaf village she was quite familiar with it's roads and daily shenanigans caused by the eccentric ninja of the village. Yuko wasn't prone to friends, rather she was simply content with where she was in life. A seamstress. She enjoyed the gentle and repetitious movements on the needle and thread however even she needed a break.

So like clock work, every day at four in the afternoon she would arrive at a small semi-recluse tea shop, sit a little to the left out the front of the establishment to soak in the afternoon rays of the sun and enjoy a nice cup of tea. And when ever she drank her tea, Yuko was always joined by an older man with graying brown hair, tanned skin and a stone face. Yuko didn't mind, company was company regardless of whether there was talk between them. So for five years Yuko would sit in that same spot, drinking the same tea with the same old man.

It had taken a while before the silence was broken between them. After the first two months, the old man became a little chatty. First it was the returned greetings when she had come for tea then the pleasant talk about the weather and eventually as time passed on the pair descended into multi-layered in-depth discussions of hypothetical situations using plant metaphors or the names of shogi pieces. These talks went on for years with the man and the two became very familiar with each other.

They weren't friends for they had never exchanged names, but it was close thing.

Thus it came as a great surprise when the old man didn't show on their next tea date. Yuko could feel the worry bloom in her chest but she quickly pushed it down and rationalized many reasons why he didn't show. He was, after all, a rather old man. And so Yuko continued her routine as she usually did, after all dealing with shinobi was something she needed a break from.

The next day was the same, the old man still didn't show. Frustration was beginning to take root before it deflated and changed back to worry and annoyance. She couldn't really hold it against the old man if he was injured but the lack of contact between them when they only met at the tea shop was annoying and it's at times like these that Yuko wishes that she had asked the old man for his name.

' _An old man.'_  she reminded herself and once more continued on. It was two weeks later of the same thing before something had changed.

Once more at the small tea shop, Yuko waited with a heavy heart. She really had enjoyed those session and conversations with the old man for they had stimulated her mind in a way that none other had before and it was something that she found refreshing. As she pondered on the case of the old man whose name she never asked, staring blankly at the passing pedestrians, Yuko began to feel a slight tingling on her left shoulder blade. She rolled said shoulder discreetly before writing it off as pins and needles for not moving much. Yuko drained her cup before leaving a generous tip at the establishment and making her way back to her apartment, the place she now called home.

x

As Yuko moved through the streets and the people, her brown hair allowing her to easily blend in with her surroundings, she was unaware of the set of eyes on her person as they tracked her every step.

x

Yuko makes her way to the apartment she had recently moved into a couple of months ago. It had been cheap and closer to the out skirts of the village, giving it a peaceful and tranquil feeling. She had originally checked it out at the behest of the old man when Yuko had mentioned on a off-handed comment about wanting to move. It was perfect for her needs: two rooms one for sleeping and the other for her work, a functional kitchen, a fairly large living room and a bathroom with a shower.

Yuko enters her apartment warily. On her way back, the hairs at the back of her neck had risen up giving her the unsettling feeling of being watched and as she got closer the her haven of safety, the stronger the feeling became. Yuko had become scared enough to bolt up three flights of stairs and slamming her door shut. Yuko leaned back against the door, feeling drained her strength, shivering slightly at the recent memory of the feeling of having someone watching her. She takes a deep breath to compose herself before stripping off her plain shirt with every intention of having a warm shower to sooth her aching muscles which had become sore from the sudden running she had just did.

She bustles about her apartment in search of her missing night clothes in her bra and underwear and as she passes by her wardrobe mirror she catches a black marking on her body. Yuko stops in confusion, her brow furrowed. Carefully walking backwards, closer to the mirror and closer to the reflection of the thing on her shoulder. Staring at the mirror dumbly because previously on her bare should was now an intricate circular black ink tattoo. Yuko's fingers gently danced over the swirls and brush strokes in curiosity.

' _...Where did that come from?'_  Yuko wonders as she continued poking it. Suddenly Yuko feels a surge of energy within her and watches as the tattoo glows a blinding bright blue. She shuts her eyes in an attempt to block the strength of the light.

' _...This isn't a tattoo! It's a seal!'_  she realizes when it begins to hum with contained energy,  _her_  chakra! The seal releases the energy it had gather in one large pulse and Yuko sags in fatigue as she starts to feel beginning effects of chakra exhaustion, something known to be very dangerous for anyone. Rubbing her thumb and forefinger against her temple in a feeble attempt to fight against her headache of the use of chakra. Yuko changes her decision to have a shower and stumbles towards the bed, vaguely wondering if she should ask someone about the seal or at least visit the Hokage.

**Thud.**

Yuko knew that sound, it was the sound of someone falling onto the floor. It is a sound she knows well since she had more than once, tripped over on her own feet and caused it. She turns to see who had fallen over and promptly shrieks in surprise when she comes face to face to a cat faced mask. An ANBU mask. Even civilians such as she knew what ANBU masks look like and the fact that there is one in front of her scares hers because they only listen to the Hokage and even though it isn't said, it's known that they do the dirty work of the village. Mission that even jounin wouldn't do. But what happens next completely catches her off guard. The cat-masked ANBU has dropped down on one knee and is Bowing to Her.

He, an elite shinobi, a trained killer, is Bowing to Her, Yuko, A Civilian.

"Lady Yuko, I am yours to command." The man says in an emotionless tone.

Yuko suddenly feels faint, the blood is rushing to her head. The last thing she see before black takes her vision completely, is the ANBU cocking his head to one side as if curious. 

_'Yeah...no.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have another story up. And this is my attempt at humor. This is also cross-posted on ff.net and the first chapter is dedicated to ff.net Author 'Good Omens' for it was her fic 'Speaking of Alternate' that had set me off.
> 
> Also, you get a cookie if you can guess who the old man is! And the meaning of Yuko will be a kind of guideline or a base template to what she is like!


	2. The Kitchen

Yuko starts awake, her eyes snapping open and she promptly closes them again half blinded by the midday sun. Shading her eyes with her hands, she thinks about the hazy image she remembers from her dream, the ANBU member that had bowed before her and went on to tell her that she held the power to command him.   
  
But since Yuko is currently lying on her bed, the sheer ridiculousness of the situation only proves this fact, that this is a dream.   
  
So smiling to herself and well assured that it was just a dream, Yuko sits up and scoots off the bed, running her hand through her hair and scratching the scalp as she makes her way to the kitchen, intent on having a snack.   
  
Preferably chocolate. Nothing like some smooth sugary goodness to get her head back on straight.   
  
Yuko meanders into the kitchen thinking about both which chocolate she will eat and the most urgent orders due. The first issue she settles on, is to have rich milk chocolate, but the second is lost as she passes a glaring green jump suit. Pausing in her movement to stare at it, she remembers that it will be picked up tomorrow, but the name of her customer still eludes her.   
  
She continues on, stepping into the kitchen area, but what she sees causes all rational thought to leave her head. Because her once beautiful, functional kitchen was currently being destroyed by not one black cloaked ninja, not two, but three ninjas. And all of them had an ANBU mask on.  
  
"What are you doing to my kitchen?!" She yelps, completely horrified at the scene before her and watches as the three ninja still in their various self appointed tasks of destruction.   
  
There is a still smoking scorch mark on one of her once creme walls, all her pots and pans were seemingly melted together into a bizzare metal ...thing, there was various glints in mind air. And just above her eyes, Yuko sees...  
  
"Are those _holes_ in my ceiling?!"   
  
Indeed there were. Various holes of shapes and sizes, some as large as her head and others are small and slim. Her entire kitchen has been demolished and reduced to something that she can't even describe. Among all the chaos, Yuko spies a single untouched and undamaged frying pan.   
  
Moving forward with surprising speed, she darts forward and grabs the handle and crows in triumph. Her victory lasts all of three seconds before Yuko is body tackled to the floor by one of the ANBU. Not a second later, there are multiple thuds in her timber floor.   
  
Lifting her head with a wince from having crashed into the floor, she looks over the shoulder of the ninja and sees the place where she was just standing covered in kunai, shuriken and what looks to be acupuncture needles, very, _very_ long acupuncture needles.  
  
Yuko wiggles out from under the man, at least she thinks he's a man, it's hard to tell with that armor, and stands on her feet raising her arm and pointing at the pin cushion zone. "Frying Pan!" Is all she can get out, waving said object.   
  
Everything seems incredibly surreal but it gets even worse when all three of the ninja in her apartment drop as one on their knee. Yuko's mouth gapes open because This is Not Happening.   
  
"We were following protocol, My Lady." The cat mask speaks in a monotone voice. And apparently it is.  
  
"Protocol?" Yuko's voice is an embarrassing squeak.   
  
"Yes." A single worded answer.  
  
"....You have a protocol for booby-trapping my kitchen?" She can't help the incredulous tone dominant in her words.   
  
"Yes." Another single worded answer.  
  
Yuko is flabbergasted because in front of her are three elite ninjas, part of the shadow of the village and they are trapping her kitchen. She knows from eavesdropping on various conversations of ninjas and then thorough research in the library, that the ANBU listen only to the Hokage.   
  
"...Aren't you supposed to listen to the Hokage?" She questions, deliberately or temporarily pushing the kitchen disaster from her mind for the time being.  
  
"We do not report to the Hokage." Yuko thinks that if she had seen Cat's face right now, it would be as blank as his voice.  
  
"Aren't you ANBU?" This is completely throwing her off. They were dressed like ANBU, they acted like ANBU, how were they not ANBU?  
  
"We are not ANBU, but of a subdivision." Yuko's brow furrows at that revelation, this was the first time she ever heard of a subdivision but then again she was just a civilian, what did she know?  
  
"Then why are you..." Yuko gestures to their positions helplessly. Cat merely cocked his head. There is silence in the room apart from her own breathing and heartbeat.   
  
"Can you please stand up, the kneeling is really freaking me out." She tries a different route.   
  
As one, all three rise as one and their masks are faced in her direction and Yuko doesn't know whether they are staring at her or at something else entirely.   
  
"Can you please explain to me what is going on?" She asks, almost desperately.  
  
"You are the successor. We are yours to command." That doesn't help. At all.   
  
Yuko flails in the silence at a complete loss of what to do or say. She takes a deep breath before deciding to follow the saying of her mother. ' _When in doubt, simply follow the thread'._  
  
"You wouldn't happen to have those protocols on hand, would you?" Yuko asks tentatively, still completely weirded out by this whole situation in front of her. But there is something about them that is different from the ninja she is used to, not to mention civilians, of course.   
  
The thought of telling the Hokage passed her mind but she wanted to know what this actually was about, and she had very high doubts that she would get out of a meeting with her alive, or without being close acquaintances with T&I. And a part of her wondered if whoever this was would even listen to Lady Tsunade.  
  
'Well, in for a penny, in for pound, right?' She wryly thought to herself as one of the not-ANBU vanished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! A second Chapter! Though it's not much, I think it's enough to get the ball rolling! Now, much of this isn't supposed to be serious at all. Please remember that!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Also it has been beta'd by Good Omens from ff.net, who I'm not too sure if she has an account here. 
> 
> Please do let me know what you think! I love all the lovely reviews and kudos that are left!
> 
> ~Dogsat4


	3. Scrolls, Tea and Kettles

The scroll she had been given seemed fairly new since the paper hadn't browned with age. However, there was some kind of seal on the top left corner that could have done something with the paper, so she couldn't be sure. And it bothered her, that the scroll carried the scent of sake. Strong sake, judging by the smell that burned the inside of her nose.

Opening the scroll had been easy, it seemed to glow a faint blue after a few seconds of simply holding it, and Yuko wasn't going to question it, it was no doubt a ninja thing and that was all she needed to know to leave it for now.

At first sight, the handwriting on the scroll was perfectly readable, which indicated that whomever wrote this was sober and yet the smell said otherwise. At second, however, the content of it was what bothered her. It was confusing.

"I, Danzō Shimura. Great and Powerful Leader of the Mighty Hidden Leaf Village, The Wonderful and Benevolent 6th Hokage, Splendid Leader of the Artfully Hidden Root Do Hereby, Declare Yuko Tsubame as my Anointed and Delicate Successor. So Mote It Be!"

Yuko stared at the opening declaration, feeling utterly baffled.

' _Wasn't Danzō a council Elder to the Hokage?_ ' she silently questioned herself as she stared at his name.

' _...And those are some flowery terms. Were they really necessary? I can understand that he wanted to emphasize his power but those are a lot of fancy terms for an old man.'_  She critiqued, her brow furrowing as she stared at said words.

A faint smudge caught her eye.

' _Are...those Sake stains?'_  She brought the scroll closer to inspect.  _'Yes they are.'_  she affirmed, shaking her head at the absurdity.

There was absolute silence in her living room and she didn't want to look up just yet, so taking a deep breath while staring at the words apprehensively, Yuko moved to read the rest of the scroll and the... Protocols that Danzō had set.

"Traps must be set in all places listed: The Bath tub. The Weight scale. The Oven Door. The..." The list went on, each one had her lifting the scroll further way as to read it from afar.

' _This... This is getting ridiculous!'_  Yuko opened the scroll further to find the end of the list, for Elder Danzo had listed almost every hidden crevice that could be found in her home and then some that couldn't!

"Further note: The Kitchen. All Pots and Pans must be melted to form a great work of art to be appreciated. A single brave frying pan must be spared as bait for the enemy. The kitchen must be inspected for enemy traps and weapons and the oven must be disintegrated for the enemy loved the oven and would kill for it." Yuko read the words in disbelief, Elder Danzo truly had a protocol for her kitchen. Her eyes grew wide as she read about the oven. Her head whipped back to the kitchen, searching for the oven she had bought only last week.

It's position in the wall was  _melted_. There wasn't even enough to call it an oven and from the looks of it, the wall was still dripping.

She squinted her eyes from a closer look and watched in muted horror as a large glop of melted oven, plastic and  _wood_  dripped slowly.

"I don't..." Her mouth was open in shock and she couldn't seem to form a full sentence. Deciding to ignore the oven for the sake of her sanity and just...deal with it later, she continued reading.

"All completely secret and 'Unknown From the Hokage' missions, information and personnel will be passed on to the Delicate Bird Yuko, in the Event of my glorious and Heroic death. All personnel will give their Unrepentant, Unquestioned loyalty to her and protect this Delicate Bird as they have protected me."

The final words were a bit sloppy, but Yuko felt that they were the most sincere out of the whole scroll. With a soft smile at those words and a determination to not look at the utterly ridiculous protocols, nor the results of them, she lifted her head.

Her smile froze when she realized that instead of the three ninja in her living room, there were now five. And all of them were staring at her.

A shiver passed through her as she saw their blank stares. There were no indication of movement, and when she opened her mouth, their stares became even more intense.

Instead of saying something along the lines of 'Can you explain to me what is going on?', Yuko switched out for something more comforting.

"...I'm going to get some tea. Do you want some?" She automatically moved towards the kitchen, then stopped, once more facing the destruction of one of the... trapping protocols.

"Right, no kettle." She mumbled to herself before she changed direction to the front door. When she looked back, all five ninja, with various ANBU masks and flat, empty stares, had turned to face her.

' _...That is reaaally creepy_.' She thought to herself, failing to suppress another shiver.

"You... all wait here. I'm just going to... borrow a kettle." She chose her words carefully, but as she took a step towards the door, so did they.

"Stay. Here." She spoke to them slowly as if speaking to teach a dog a new trick and as one the tilted their head.

' _That. Is seriously creepy.'_  Quickly turning the handle of her door, Yuko rushed out, breathing a sigh of relief when she found herself along. With a determined nod, Yuko set off to knock the door of her neighbor to borrow their kettle for some much needed comfort.

Tea. A drink that could fix just about everything and she certainly needed it for what she was going to be dealing with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is chapter 3 and I hope you have enjoyed it!  
> Thanks to Good Omens from ff.net for betaing and thanks to the viewers, kudoers and reviews! You guys make me happy when I see the hot count and read your reviews!
> 
> And I'm sure you guys can infer Danzo's state when he wrote the scroll ;)
> 
> Also, thoughts?


	4. Assumptions and Kettles

A few hours earlier, in another part of the Leaf Village - more specifically at the Hokage tower - things were not going as smoothly as neither planned nor hoped.

After attempting to seal Sasuke in a suicide seal, Danzo had died and left their village without a Hokage. Temporarily, luckily, as Tsunade had been deemed capable of returning to the post as the Fifth Hokage once more.

As the woman in question returned to the seat that was rightfully hers, Team 7 stood at attention before her. Or rather, the current Team 7, consisting of Kakashi, Yamato, Sai, Sakura and Naruto, who for the most part were giving her expressions of relief, or as much as any of them are capable of.

As some of those most trusted in this village, or someone Tsunade trusted explicitly anyway, they were learning some of what she had planned for to happen now that Danzo had died and the failed assassination of Anko had been reported to her attention, when Sai visibly reacted, his smile slipping off his face like water with no resistance, and his body tensing in a manner that they could all notice, should they have been looking his way.

Tsunade, the first to notice, sharpened to attention as Sai's face seemed to go paler than it already was, something thought impossible. From there, Team 7 followed after, frowns taking over the most visible smiles.

Sai's eyes became dazed and unfocused, as Tsunade questioned him in a firm tone, "Sai, what is it?"

"It's ...Root." He fought to say this as the seal on his tongue began to act upon his intention to reveal information.

The two words caused Tsunade, Kakashi and Yamato's eyes to sharpen and Sakura and Naruto to turn to face him completely, instead of just with their heads, as they had before, awaiting the next words to be uttered.

Sai knew he would only be able to get one or two words out before the seal would paralyze him, so he chose to relay the most important information of what this meant.

"...Success...or...Ch..osen." It was all he could choke out before he began shaking from the effort of fighting the seal.

A sudden and violent sound alerts the rest of the Team to Tsunade's anger, when she slammed her fist down on her desk and broke it clean through, and it is more visible than Kakashi and Yamato's reactions of shock from the news, the former only widening an eye and the latter's face darkening, fists clenching.

The mere thought that Danzo had managed to find someone he trusted enough to have labelled as his successor was the worst news they could get right now, it could not get any worse. No doubt the person would be just as delusional and cruel as Danzo himself had been.

With these thoughts, Tsuande reacted first.

"Sai, round up as many Root members as you can. We need answers, and immediately! Kakashi, Yamato back him up." She ordered, her brown eyes showing just how worried she was.

"Naruto, Sakura, you're dismissed. Do not breathe a word of any of this to anyone." She pointed to the rest of the team, as she ordered this.

"Bu-" Naruto began to protest.

"NO! No one must know of this. I am ranking this as an S-ranked secret until more information can be gathered." Tsunade interrupted Naruto before he could begin. This matter was not something that could be handled lightly.

Danzo's activities were something the Third had gotten word of, and shared, but this successor? Who ever they were, they had never come up, even in the recent tailing of the man. And if they were good enough to avoid detection by ANBU, there was no telling who it might be. All it told them is that this successor is greatly skilled.

"Yes, Lady Tsunade." Kakashi spoke while Sai and Yamato bowed with him, accepting their orders.

"Of course, M'lady." Sakura bowed, before elbowing Naruto roughly when he didn't following the motions.

"Ow!" He yelped, rubbing his ribs and throwing an indignant look at Sakura before promptly wilting under her glare and grumbling. "Yeah, yeah. No worries Granny, I won't say anything."

"Watch it, brat! I'm not OLD!" Tsunade roared, throwing a paper holder towards the closing door as the team retreated from her well known reaction, but missed, leaving a hole in the wall.

Hearing Naruto yelp as it went through satisfied her enough to lean back and consider it a win. It was just a pity it had most likely missed, but that was easily blamed on the news they had gotten.

"Yep. Still got it." Tsunade can't help but smile to herself, even with the dire situation.

x

Meanwhile, Yuko's quest in getting a kettle from her neighbor had been successful. There had been a lot of stuttering around the truth and nosing from them about the noises that been caused by the ninja in her apartment, but since it was well known that Yuko was a seamstress that also served the various ...eccentric shinobi, saying that she had had such a customer by earlier had only garnered her a sympathetic sigh and a pat on her shoulder followed by:

"There, there. This is why you need to be careful. They're all so strange and dangerous."

Yuko could only laugh nervously in reply before making her getaway from the nosy woman. She was frightfully close to the truth.

The hallway was empty save for a few plants around corners but as Yuko reached her door, she wasn't sure if she wanted to enter. There was no way to tell what the ninja could have done in her absence. But if there was one thing that Yuko wasn't, it was someone who backed out. With a shaky hand, Yuko unlocked the door, softly pushed and watched with apprehension as it gently swung open.

The small entrance that led into her kitchen was disturbingly clear of ninja. Yuko couldn't help the audible swallow as she took a step in before closing the door behind her.

When Yuko reached the start of her living room, she could only stare in dismay as the number of shinobi had increased. Again.

Nine. There were now nine ninja in her living room.

' _Why are they huddled together?'_  She thought slightly hysterically as she observed them.

Yuko opened her mouth to speak but only a small whine came out. The reaction was instant, the nine ninja moved suddenly to form a straight line.

"...H-how many m-more are c-coming?" She asked, her voice small and timid.

"All available units are on their way." The cat-masked ninja spoke up.

"...Do they all know how to get here?" Yuko asked, because the ninja were coming, that was an apparent fact. Might as well adjust to and deal with it.

There was no answer from the cat and Yuko figured she would take that as a 'no'.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Yuko dropped her head in defeat.

"Why ...don't you go bring them over?" She offered up as a suggestion as she walked into what remained of her kitchen. There was a faint ' _whish_ ' sound as the shinobi vanished to gather their comrades.

Yuko set the borrowed kettle on the bench and reached to turn on the water. Just as her fingers brushed the tap, Yuko was once more body tacked as the sink was engulfed in flames and more sharp thuds echoed through the room.

"Why me?" She asked into the air as she stared at the ceiling from around the shoulder of the ninja that had tackled her to the ground again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! But here it is! Your thoughts?  
> This was also beta'd by Good Omens from ff.net


	5. Learning Something New

Once more on her feet, Yuko brushed the lingering sawdust off her pants and shirt before turning to the masked man, who was wearing a different mask, one she couldn't identify. She was not going to ask, however, as she really didn't want to.

"...Are there any more traps in the kitchen that I should be aware of?" Yuko asked after a considerable pause. Though the masked Not-ABNU did not say anything, he (she thinks he is a he) did twitch.

Yuko could  _feel_  the headache forming right behind her eyes.

"Can you fill up the kettle and set it to boil?" She asked, rubbing her forehead with exhaustion at the situation filling her tone.

Yuko felt rather than heard the Not-ANBU move, which was very much odd, since that had never happened before. She had no talent at being a ninja (one day at the academy and she dropped out, just no) so that was out of the picture. The only thing that Yuko could think of was the odd seal on her shoulder.

When there was no sound coming from the kitchen, Yuko spun around with a few sharp words on her lips but stopped when she saw the ninja standing there while looking at the sink, the kettle and the kitchen seemingly at a complete loss at what to do.

All words died in her throat as she took in the ninja, and though she could not see his face Yuko could somehow feel his confusion.

' _Why would he be confused? Unless...'_ her thought drifted off as she put a theory in motion.

"Do you not know how to use a kettle?" She asked quietly, barely managing to hide the disbelief in her voice.

The Not-ANBU (Yuko really needed to learn what they were called), turned at the sound of her voice, but did not otherwise move. And even though he didn't move, didn't say anything, she could feel that he was lost.

 _'...What happened to him?...'_  She felt pity towards them, but quickly stamped on that emotion. Yuko knew that ninja hated being pitied because it made them feel useless and incapable of doing their duty to their village.

"Okay. I'll give you a demo sorta thing." Yuko declares with determination because something happened to him, something happened to the point where a grown man, an elite member of a ninja society didn't know how to use a kettle in a kitchen. That was very, very bad. Yuko hopes quietly that the others aren't like this but with the way things are going, she's sure her luck won't keep and all of the other ninja would be in the same boat.

The ninja looks at her and then at the kitchen before handing Yuko the copper-kettle, soot on the base showing regular use by her neighbor. Yuko holds the handle with care and opens the top, keeping an eye out for the reaction of the ninja. From the corner of her eye, she can just see him tilt his head.

"You just need to fill the kettle with water up to the base of the start of the neck." Yuko instructs gently while gesturing with a finger to show what she meant.

The ninja nods once. Yuko smiles at the reaction and hands the kettle and the lid once more to the ninja.

Yuko watches the ninja with keen eyes as he fills up the kettle and smiles gently when the ninja once more turns to her for instruction.

"Put the kettle on one of the burners and turn on the stove."

The ninja turns back to the kitchen and placed the kettle on the stove and after some staring, there was the unique sound of the spark and the gas going off.

' _Aaaand ignition.'_  Yuko thought with a smile as the sound of the gas catching fire reached her ears.

When the ninja turned to her once more, Yuko grinned with growing pride at him. The ninja seemed taken aback from the minuscule jerk that she just barely managed to pick up.

There was another ' **whosh'**  sound followed by multiple ' **whosh'**  sounds following.

Yuko freezes before turning slowly to face what seems to be a crowd. There are a large number of black cloaks and animal masks within it, and Yuko had not expected this many!

"2,4,6,8,10,12,14..." Yuko mumbles to herself as she counts the numbers. She trails off before turning back to the ninja behind her.

"...15" She finishes with wide eyes. Fifteen. Fifteen is pushing it. Yuko did not expect fifteen ninjas in her room, let alone her apartment.

' _It was only a single bedrooms apartment! Where were they supposed to stay?'_  She thought, partly hysterical.

"Lady Yuko, we are yours to command." As one all fifteen ninjas dropped to one knee and bowed with an arm on their chest.

Yuko couldn't say anything. She was speechless.

What on earth was she supposed to do with  _fifteen_  ninja?! She could barely handle one! (Although to be fair, that was Might Gai...)

Then, when things couldn't get anymore awkward, the kettle began whistling for her attention.

x

Elsewhere in the village, no matter where Kakashi and Sai looked there was not a single Root member. Not at the hidden base, Danzo's house or at the ANBU head quarters. They couldn't find a single one.

Sai and Kakashi shared a look.

It seemed the Successor had already taken charge of the Root forces.

"We had better report this to Lady Hokage." Kakashi told Sai who nodded his agreement.

This was getting strange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my readers! I have the next chapter of A Cup of Tea! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> This has been beta'd by Good Omens from ff.net and If you have any questions about anything, please just ask.
> 
> The word 'Demo' is short for demonstration. And Yuko does use the shortened version. I'm working on the basis that these root members eat at a cafetiere. These members live at the Root base and are not the ones who do the undercover operations and are the most stunted. That is why this particular Root member doesn't know how to use a kettle.
> 
> So thoughts?


	6. Christmas Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone!!!  
> This omake occurs sometime in the future and is very short and very bare, so forgive me for that!  
> It hasn't been beta'd and It's a gift to the lovely Good Omens who has stuck around to beta this story.  
> Enjoy!!!

Yuko covered her eyes in horror at the complete mess that was her living room. The fifteen elite ninja...puppies had gone overboard on the decorations that was supposed to be for Christmas.

Introducing the idea of Christmas to ninja, was a very tricky problem because, for them the thought of a fat man who watches children and then gives them presents, deeply, deeply, deeply disturbs them.

(If those very, very violent traps in her chimney and the watch rotation they have going on is anything to go by.)

These ninja of hers seemed to have only two settings of emotions of any kind. The settings being both ends of the spectrum of _any_ emotions. And the fact that she had included on her family's little celebration, had caused them to go over board in the feelings of elation and happiness.

Another example of such extreme was the utterly expensive and Utterly ridiculous shopping adventure for presents. The entire ordeal was something she never, ever wanted to go through again. Yuko shivered at the mere thought of it.

It was worse than a pissing contest between men, no it was a pissing contest of _ninja_.

(And Yuko was pretty sure that some of them were _Banned_ from entering or coming within so much as about a meter of various stores. Damn ninja.)

The sound of tinkling bells had Yuko looking in the direction of the Christmas tree.

(Which she later learned that the tree was taken from the _Forest of Death,_ again, Damn ninja.)

The bells were hanging quite nicely but there was still no way in hell was she even going near that damn tree.

(Never know what might be living in that damn place. Trees are now officially included in the 'no go, no touch' list.)

Even though Ca-Sora assured her, with very well hidden amusement in his hazel eyes, that the tree had been washed. Thoroughly.

(And that meant high powered water and wind jutsu. From what little gossip Yuko could get from her customers, training ground 4 had been almost completely decimated.)

But even for their faults and mistakes, these 15 emotionally stunted shinobi were _her_ family. And she loves them for it.

(Yuko does suspect they feel the same considering how over protective they can be.)

"The tree is ready." Akira's tone is almost flat but Yuko can just hear under the military conditioning, the pride and excitement that she feels and the twitches of her lips giving her away as well.

(Akira was the one who was the most excited about the tree. Yuko was proud that Tiger had chose her own name.)  
  
Once the (Over done) decorations were done (A.k.a the tree was completely covered in tinsel. Yuko knew, just knew it was from Boar) , Yuko herded all the ninja on the couch and stood by the tree.

(As close as she would allow herself to be)

And grinned before bending down and handing out presents but not before saying to them, her misfit family.

"Merry Christmas."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	7. Where it gets serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! and again sorry for my delayed absence!
> 
> Here is the latest chapter and has been beta'd by the wonderful Good Omens! Enjoy!

"R-r-right! Um, please sit down?" Yuko stammered in ill concealed shock. She is not prepared for this. At all.

As one, all fifteen sit right where they are and her eyes widen further.

"No! Um, I meant on the chairs. Please sit on the chairs." They move swiftly to fill up her spare chairs in her apartment as Yuko hurries to shut off the kettle, muttering to herself as she goes. "Yes, yes I'm coming. Now will you please shut up..."

The kettle shuts up as soon as Yuko turns off the gas. Then placing her hands on her cupboards where her many tea cups and mugs are stored, she stops short as she is reminded of the last two times she's touched something in the kitchen by the small pain in her back after being tackled to the floor. Twice.

Yuko takes a deep breath before she turns to face the shinobi in her living room.

"Um... Are there any more traps in the kitchen? More specifically the cupboards?" She asks sheepishly.

Tiger, at least she thinks the mask looks like a tiger, stands in response and makes his (her?) way over. Yuko isn't really sure after being body tackled by this particular ...Root member.

Tiger says nothing to her just moves directly to the cupboard in question looking like she, Yuko is going to go with she, is playing with the air or touching the air before flying though a series of handseals.

Tiger opens the cupboard and tenses for a fraction of a second, something Yuko wouldn't have noticed without her new ...art on her body, and leaves the door open.

"Thank you!" Yuko smiles at her and for an instant she can feel Tiger's bafflement at Yuko's reaction.

Tiger nods her head and moves back to the seated group of ninja.

"Right. Now those cups." Yuko mutters to herself as she takes three sets of cups and two of another. Another thought comes to mind.

"What flavours do you want? I have black, earl, lady early, mint and chamomile tea," she calls out to them and when there is no answer, Yuko turns to face them again.

Each and every one of them are just staring at her. Not a twitch can be noticed, just the feeling of confusion from all of them.

'Right. Socially stunted." Yuko mutters to herself, the realization had made itself known to her when Boar, She thinks the mask was a boar, didn't even know how to use the kettle.

"I'll just give you all chamomile tea. The most harmless one I have and safest too." Yuko says aloud for her guests to hear. Yuko does know that ninja are paranoid and thought it would be best to tell them what they are going to drink.

Again there is no sound from the ninja and Yuko continues with the motions if making tea. The repetitive motion soothes her frayed nerves and clears her mind enough to think rationally again.

 _'So I've established the fact that these ninja are socially stunted. Not only that but they appear to be completely loyal and I dread to think what they would do if I was in danger. And I have yet to learn their names ...and I hope to god that they do have names.'_ Her mind moves at the same pace as her body, as steady as the water flows.

Once the tea is done, Yuko grabs her serving tray from the same cupboard and loads the cups and walks very carefully back to her living room.

As she walks in, all of the ninja stand up again and bow their head in respect.

 _'I really need to figure out how bad this is.'_ Her hysteria slowly makes itself known again.

"Here, come and grab a cup and please sit down again." Yuko speaks politely, another speculation about how deep their loyalty is.

 _'Even though I ask questions and leave the offer open to be refused it is almost as if they cannot say no.'_ That thought worries her a lot. Her worry is made even worse when the ninja collect the cups in a single file.

Yuko places down her serving tray and hold her own cup. When it becomes apparent that none of the ninja are drinking their tea and they all still have their masks still on.

"You know, if you are going to drink the tea, you should take off your masks." Yuko reminds them in case they have forgotten, thought that is highly unlikely.

Now there a genuine reaction. She can see the stiffening in their forms as they twitch. She knows the are communicating even though it looks different but she respects that. They are ninja.

As one the ninja remove their masks and she is greeted with fifteen different faces of all different ages.

Yuko does her best not to gasp in shock. She had expected their to be people in their mid twenties or early thirties, which there are, but what she was not expecting was teens. Fifteen or sixteen year olds, not people who should be having fun with friends and with the burden of an angry parent should they do anything wrong.

Yuko shifts her position and spies an even younger face. Her hand shakes.

"At the back, how old are you?" Yuko points to the boy. He stares at her with impassive brown eyes and a blank face, almost creepy due face still having some baby fat.

"12."

Her eyes widen and she feels numb. A twelve year old as an elite ninja. Just what in the heck is going on here!

Yuko sits on the stool heavily as the information swirls in her head. Yuko needs to know their names. Now.

"Please, what are your names?" She asked, her voice strained.

The man with the cat masks speaks, his own hazel eyes are empty but she can feel his confusion to her question.

"We do not have a designation." Yuko stares at these people in absolute shock.

"You don't have a name." She breathes to herself. This is not right and definitely not normal.

 _'What have I gotten into?'_ Echoes loudly in her head as the two stare at each other. One with shock and the other with apathy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thought?
> 
> Please read and review!


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